Gore Glum over Feline Flatulence

Global terrorism, Iran with nuclear weapons, Russia pealing back democracy! What a dangerous world in which we live. But do these even rate among the concerns of Democrats? What do they see as the greatest threat to the planet? Global warming, of course. That’s right, the global devastation being reeked by feline farts and puppy poots. Never mind that a score or preeminent scientists say that the evidence does not support his outlandish claims. And the left-wing press showed up in droves to cover Al Gore’s bloviating over the subject. This after CBS told us that they will not air their interview with the Iraqi ambassador who says the situation in Iraq is getting better, because CBS claims it’s boring and we have heard it all before.

And what about the tons of carbon dioxide released by Gore’s private jets as he crisscrosses the country to sound the alarm, not to mention the voluminous amounts of heat and excess carbon dioxide he himself releases into the atmosphere every time he launches into his diatribe? Well, he buys carbon credits to make up for the fact that he produces 14 times the amount of green-house gas than that of the average person. Carbon credits, of course, are contracts that countries like China sell, promising to offset a certain amount of green-house emission in their part of the world to allow Gore to devastate his part unabated. Carbon credits are sold on the open market, brokered by a company like the one Al Gore owns. Under the terms of the contract, China will demolish, for example, a coal-burning power plant. And what does China do with the net profit after demolishing the power plant? You guessed it; it builds another coal-burning power plant. Now you see why it is so vitally important that China remain exempt from the Kyoto Treaty. I got to hand it to him. Supporting Chinese communists is no big deal; all Democrats do that. But making a profit at the same time is brilliant. Wait until he unveils his Universal Caron Credit program whereby the Federal government funds carbon credits for everyone. This pipeline from the Federal Treasury to Gore’s pockets (after an obligatory stop in Beijing) will supply him a campaign war chest ten times the size of Clinton’s Swiss bank account. Gore can just buy the presidency without having to ask Buddhist monks for campaign donations this time.