Pelosi Flubs Her Liberalese

So Nancy Pelosi is in trouble. But for what? Telling lies about what she knew about water boarding? No! She is guilty of what conservatives are, not speaking liberalese fluently enough. Liberalese is a complex language spoken primarily in Washington but also the preferred language of cocktail parties throughout the northeast and California. Chinese is a distant cousin where what you say depends on the intonation. The exact same phrase spoken in two different intonations in Chinese can be the difference between “I want to buy a horse” and “I want to sell my mother”. Liberalese is more confusing because it sounds just like English but it’s meaning depends on how the speaker feels in his/her heart. Prerequisite to speaking liberalese well are desires such as wanting the extermination of unborn life that has become inconvenient to the mother, a need for the American military to lose wars, and an unrequited guilt over the ill white people have brought to the world, especially by way of the USA. Here some examples about how two very different meanings come from the same phrase when one is speaking liberalese and one is not.

Example 1:
President Obama: “I believe marriage should be between one man and one woman.”
Liberalese: “You know I can’t offend 90 percent of the country in one statement but you also know I love you all anyway.”

Miss CA: “I believe marriage should be between one man and one woman.”
Liberalse: “I am just a dumb !@*# blonde who hates gay people.”

Example 2:

Secretary Clinton: “I deeply admire Margaret Sanger.” (Sanger was unrepentant eugenicist who advocated abortion to exterminate the poor and lower class. Her organization morphed into Planned Parenthood.)
Liberalese: “I only admire Sanger’s actions that led to abortion on demand which everyone knows has made all women free and happy in this country.”

Trent Lot: “I admire Strom Thurmond.” (Thurmond was a long-term senator from SC who long ago recanted his segregationist views.)
Liberalese: “I wish black people were still enslaved.”

Both speakers later followed up:

Clinton: “I also admire Thomas Jefferson. That doesn’t mean I admire everything he did.”
Liberalese: “I only admire the good stuff Jefferson and Sanger did.”
Lot: “I was being nice to an old man on his birthday.”
Liberalese: “I still wish black people were all enslaved.”


Example 3:

VP Biden not only admits there is a super secret bunker where the vice president can go but reveals its location.
Liberalese: “I just want an open government for the people and I won’t need the bunker anyway because I plan to speak words of love and peace to the jihadists.”

Someone outside the Bush administration reveals that Valerie Plame works for the CIA. VP Cheney’s assistant, Scooter Libbey, misquotes a long-ago conversation during the investigation of the leak and is sent to jail for perjury.
Liberalese: “I may not have revealed Plame’s name but I wanted to so let pretend I did. Cheney ordered me to do it because he hates women and minorities.”

So know we find out that Pelosi found out about water boarding and did not object. This is tantamount to loving her country (sort of) and not feeling guilty for being white (if only for a moment). Never mind that her statements go back and forth like a washing machine headed for the spin cycle; will she at last be tossed from her chairmanship (not for lying but for being stupid) or will the liberal translator simply tell us that everyone lies about water boarding along with having sex with an intern, keeping $90,000 dollars cash in the refrigerator, and how one really feels about Hilary Clinton after appointing her Secretary of State. Meanwhile, I think she should keep working on that finger wag.